The Moment of Surrender - U2

The Moment of Surrender

I tied myself with wire
To let the horses run free
Playing with the fire
Until the fire played with me


The stone was semi-precious
We were barely conscious
Two souls too cool to be
In the realm of certainty
Even on our wedding day


We set ourselves on fire
Oh God, do not deny her
It's not if I believe in love

But if love believes in me

Oh, believe in me

At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees

I did not notice the passers-by

And they did not notice me

I've been in every black hole

At the altar of the dark star

My body's now a begging bowl

That's begging to get back, begging to get back

To my heart

To the rhythm of my soul

To the rhythm of my unconsciousness

To the rhythm that yearns

To be released from control

I was punching in the numbers at the ATM machine

I could see in the reflectionA face staring back at me

At the moment of surrenderOf vision over visibility

I did not notice the passers-byAnd they did not notice me

I was speeding on the subway

Through the stations of the cross

Every eye looking every other way

Counting down 'til the pentecost

At the moment of surrender

Of vision of over visibility

I did not notice the passers-by

And they did not notice me

The Return of The Prodigal Son – Henri Nouwen

pg. 106 -

“For most of my life I have struggled to find God, to know God, to love God. I have tried hard to follow the guidelines of the spiritual life – pray always, work for others, read the Scriptures – and to avoid the many temptations to dissipate myself. I have failed many times but always tried again, even when I was close to despair.

Now I wonder whether I have sufficiently realized that during all this time God has been trying to find me, to know me, and to love me. The question is not “How am I to find God?” but “How am I to let myself be found by him?” The question is not “How am I to know God?” but “How am I to let myself be known by God? And, finally, the question is not “How am I to love God?” but “How am I to let myself be loved by God?” God is looking into the distance for me, trying to find me, and longing to bring me home. In all three parables which Jesus tells in response to the question of why he eats with sinners, he puts the emphasis on God’s initiative. God is the shepherd who goes looking for his lost sheep. God is the woman who lights a lamp, sweeps out the house, and searches everywhere for her lost coin until she has found it. God is the father who watches and waits for his children, runs out to meet them, embraces them, pleads with them, begs and urges them to come home.

It might sound strange, but God wants to find me as much as, if not more then, I want to find God. Yes, God needs me as much as I need God. God is not the patriarch who stays home, doesn’t move, and expects his children to come to him, apologize for their aberrant behavior, beg for forgiveness, and promise to be better. To the contrary, he leaves the house, ignoring his dignity by running toward them, pays no heed to apologies and promises of change, and brings them to the table richly prepared for them.”

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Acts 17:26

26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 28'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

Matthew 7:22

22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Matthew 3:11-12 Commentary Thought

"Amos sounded a clear warning, to his generation, to Jesus' generation and to ours, when we prove more quick to judge others than ourselves: "Woe to you who long for the day of the LORD," for it will be a day of reckoning (Amos 5:18). Sometimes skeptics appeal to evil in the world to deny God's existence; instead they should be applauding his mercy in giving them time to repent, because when God decisively abolishes evil, he will have to abolish them (see 2 Pet 3:3-9).
Second, John warns that the wicked will be burned, just as farmers destroy useless products after the harvest. Harvest and the threshing floor (3:8, 10, 12) were natural images to use in agrarian, rural Palestine. Earlier biblical writers had used these images to symbolize judgment and the end time (as in Ps 1:4; Is 17:13; Hos 13:3; Joel 3:13); Jesus (Mt 9:38; 13:39; 21:34) and his contemporaries (4 Ezra 4:30-32; Jub. 36:10) also used the image. (Fire naturally symbolized future judgment, as in Is 66:15-16, 24; 1 Enoch 103:8.) Villagers carried grain to village threshing floors; large estates worked by tenants would have their own (N. Lewis 1983:123). When threshers tossed grain in the air, the wind separated out the lighter, inedible chaff. The most prominent use of this chaff was for fuel (CPJ 1:199). But while chaff burned quickly, John depicts the wicked's fire as unquenchable. Many of his contemporaries believed that hell was only temporary (for example, t. Sanhedrin 13:3, 4), but John specifically affirmed that it involved eternal torment, drawing on the most horrible image for hell available in his day.
Many of us today are as uncomfortable as John's contemporaries with the doctrine of eternal torment; yet genuinely considering and believing it would radically affect the way we live. That John directs his harshest preaching toward religious people (Mt 3:7) should also arouse some introspection on our part (see also Blomberg 1992:142-43). Even for the saved, the knowledge that all private thoughts will be brought to light (10:26) should inspire self-discipline when other humans are not watching. Our culture prefers a comfortable message of God's blessing on whatever we choose to do with our lives; God reminds us that his Word and not our culture remains the final arbiter of our destiny."

"God reminds us that his Word and not our culture remains the final arbiter of our destiny."

Self Awareness vs. Christ-awarness

My Utmost for His Highest - August 20

“Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once, asking Him to re-establish your rest. Never allow anything to remain in your life that is causing the unrest. Think of every detail of your life that is causing the disintegration as something to fight against, not as something you should allow to remain. Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awareness will disappear. Then He will be your all in all. Beware of allowing your self-awareness to continue, because slowly but surely it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is satanic. Don’t allow yourself to say, "Well, they have just misunderstood me, and this is something over which they should be apologizing to me; I’m sure I must have this cleared up with them already." Learn to leave others alone regarding this. Simply ask the Lord to give you Christ-awareness, and He will steady you until your completeness in Him is absolute…..If we try to overcome our self-awareness through any of our own commonsense methods, we will only serve to strengthen our self-awareness tremendously. Jesus says, "Come to Me . . . and I will give you rest," that is, Christ-awareness will take the place of self-awareness. Wherever Jesus comes He establishes rest— the rest of the completion of activity in our lives that is never aware of itself.”

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I believe this to be a plague in the modern American - including the plague in my own heart. Self-Awareness always begins with SELF...isn't there a magazine called "Self"?... We are (I am) self-focused, self-centered, self-important, self-confident, self-sustaining, self-indulgent, self-motivated, self-made, self-corrected, self-loved. It is very interesting to me the Oswald Chambers calls "Self-Pity" satanic - I completely agree. If we are trusting in ourselves, we are not trusting in God. If we are focused on ourselves, we cannot focus on God nor on what calls us to focused on - namley others. That is why the second chapter of Philippians so stings my conscience - "2:5-8 -Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! Christ, the King of Kings, the creator of everything, the Everlasting God - humbles himself - becoming human and subjecting himself to our mistreatment and finally our execution. Christ is the ultimate example of humility. From the manger, to the footwashing, to the thorns, to trash dump where he was killed. He subjected himself to God's will - gave his Self up to God's will. Maybe that is why so many Christians talk about dying to their selves. Paul says to the Ephesians - 4:21 - You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds. It seems a bit disheartening as I think about dying to myself, but I don't think that God is intending us to lose any uniqueness of our individuality - Christ gives us our true self back. Isn't that really the whole story of Christianity. God, so loved you, that he sought to give you a new identity, a new family status, a new name, a new hope. He gives you everything you can't give yourself. As we lose our self-awarness and become Christ-Aware we find our true identity. In Christ we find rest, and more importantly we find purpose. Things make sense. Things are right. I can worship. I can hope. I can love. Because it is not me that has to make it right - it is Christ in me - my true identity.

The Boxer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWUCoJJS2DU
Paul Simon - The Boxer

"In the clearing stands a boxer, and a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him
til he cried out in his anger and his shame I am leaving, I am leaving,
but the fighter still remains
Yes he still remains"

Romans 7:15-25
15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Gratitude

Alfred Painter -
"Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality."

Blue - Lyrics and Music by Sean Kelly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48K8m8kAy-I

Is it me or just the weather
the sun has trouble shining through
a smile is gone but not forever
above the clouds I know it’s blue
I know it’s blue
I think it’s time to look beyond me
for who I loved has gone away
I think it was worth the walk and talking
although I had not much to saynot much to say
Is it me or just the window
the sun has trouble shining through
it takes the rain to make a rainbow
above the clouds I know it’s blue
I know it’s blue

James 1:2-4 & 12
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything....12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.