From "Orthodoxy" - G.K. Chesterton

"But for the moment it is possible in the same solely practical manner to give a general answer touching what in actual human history keeps men sane. Mysticism keeps men sane. As long as you have mystery you have health; when you destroy mystery you create morbidity. The ordinary man has always been sane because the ordinary man has always been a mystic. He has permitted the twilight. He has always had one foot in earth and the other in fairyland. He has always left himself free to doubt his gods; but (unlike the agnostic of to-day) free also to believe in them. He has always cared more for truth than for consistency. If he saw two truths that seemed to contradict each other, he would take the two truths and the contradiction along with them. His spiritual sight is stereoscopic, like his physical sight: he sees two different pictures at once and yet sees all the better for that. Thus he has always believed that there was such a thing as fate, but such a thing as free will also. Thus he believed that children were indeed the kingdom of heaven, but nevertheless ought to be obedient to the kingdom of earth. He admired youth because it was young and age because it was not. It is exactly this balance of apparent contradictions that has been the whole buoyancy of the healthy man. The whole secret of mysticism is this: that man can understand everything by the help of what he does not understand. The morbid logician seeks to make everything lucid, and succeeds in making everything mysterious. The mystic allows one thing to be mysterious, and everything else becomes lucid." 

"As we have taken the circle as the symbol of reason and madness, we may very well take the cross as the symbol at once of mystery and of health. Buddhism is centripetal, but Christianity is centrifugal: it breaks out. For the circle is perfect and infinite in its nature; but it is fixed for ever in its size; it can never be larger or smaller. But the cross, though it has at its heart a collision and a contradiction, can extend its four arms for ever without altering its shape. Because it has a paradox in its centre it can grow without changing. The circle returns upon itself and is bound. The cross opens its arms to the four winds; it is a signpost for free travellers.

Symbols alone are of even a cloudy value in speaking of this deep matter; and another symbol from physical nature will express sufficiently well the real place of mysticism before mankind. The one created thing which we cannot look at is the
one thing in the light of which we look at everything. Like the sun at noonday, mysticism explains everything else by the blaze of its own victorious invisibility."

"Who told you that you were naked?"

"Man at his origin knows only one thing: God. It is only in the unity of his knowledge of God that he knows of other men, of things, and of himself (Gen 2:24-25). The knowledge of good and evil shows that he is no longer at one with his origin (Gen 3). In the knowledge of good and evil man does not understand himself in the reality of the destiny appointed in his origin, but rather in his own possibilities, his possibility of being good or evil. He knows himself now as something apart from God, outside God, and this means that he now knows only himself and no longer knows God at all... The knowledge of good and evil is therefore separation from God.

Instead of knowing himself in the origin of God, he must now know himself as an origin. He interprets himself according to his possibilities, his possibilities of being good or evil, and he therefore conceives himself to be the origin of good and evil, Eritis Sicut deus (you will be like god). ' The man is become as one of us, to know good and evil', says God (Gen 3:22)... Originally man was made in the image of God, but now his likeness to God is a stolen one. As the image of God man draws his life entirely from his origin in God, but the man who has become like God has forgotten how he was at this origin and has made himself his own creator and judge. What God had given man to be, man now desired to be through himself..." Bonhoeffer -  Ethics 17-20 Italics added.

"  I believe in Christianity like I believe that the sun has risen; not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."  CS Lewis

Sneezing vs. Sex

"Sneezing absorbs all the functions of the soul just as much as the [sexual] act, but we do not draw from it the same conclusions against the greatness of man, because it is involuntary; although we bring it about, we do so involuntary. It is not for the sake of the thing in itself but for another end, and is therefore not a sign of man's weakness, or his subjection to this act.         

   There is no shame in man giving in to pain, but it is shameful for him to give in to pleasure. This is not because pain comes to us from outside, whilst we seek pleasure, for we may seek pain and deliberately give in to it without this sort of abasement. Why then is it to reason's credit to give in to the effect of pain, and to its shame to give in to that of pleasure? It is because it is not pain that tempts and attracts us; it is we ourselves who voluntarily choose it and allow it to get the better of us, so that we are masters of the occasion, and in this it is man giving in to himself. But in pleasure it is man who gives into pleasure. Now, glory only comes from mastery and control, shame only from subjection."

Pascal - Pensees - 795 

These are some interesting thoughts that Blaise brings up. Makes me thing of several verses, one seems to agree, the other not as much: 

Genesis 4:7

"If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”


Sin (flesh, perverted pleasure) - desires to have you. Literally it longs for you, but you must not give into it. You must, just as Pascal writes, master it. This would be soul crushing if we didn't have outside help to give us power to do so. Why? Because Sin/pleasure is attractive. It not only desires us, but often we desire it. I am often complicit. But take heart, you have such a helper. One that not only can help you stand up under the temptations, but one that can enable you to Master sin. 


I struggle with the last sentence of Pascal's thought: "glory comes from mastery and control, shame only from subjection." I believe God is calling us to a form of subjection that is not shame producing but life producing. God invites us to exchange our subjection - from death to life.

Romans 6:16-18

16 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey —whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. 18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.


We are now free to become slaves in order that we might become masters. A beautiful paradox in which God, our loving master, empowers us to be like him. So now we glory in our subjection because from it we find our strength. 


"Man is most comforted by paradoxes."
GK Chesterton.


"If you set out to seek freedom, you must learn before all things mastery over sense and soul, lest your wayward desirings, lest your undisciplined members lead you now this way, now that way. Chaste be your mind and your body, and subject to you and obedient, serving solely to seek their appointed goal and objective. None learns the secret of freedom save only by way of control." Bonhoeffer - Ethics (Stations on the way to freedom)

Beyond the Blue 

Stand on the shores of a site unseen 
The substance of this dwells in me 
Cause my natural eyes only go skin deep 
But the eye’s of my heart anchor the sea 
Plumbing the depths to the place in between 
The tangible world and the land of a dreams 
Because everything ain’t quite it seems 
There’s more beneath the appearance of things 
A beggar could be king within the shadows, 
Of a wing 

And wisdom will honor everyone who will learn 
To listen, to love, and to pray and discern 
And to do the right thing even when it burns 
And to live in the light through treacherous turns 
A man is weak, but the spirit yearns 
To keep on course from the bow to the stearn 
And throw overboard every selfish concern 
That tries to work for what can’t be earned 
Sometimes the only way to return is to go, 
Where the winds will take you 

And to let go, of all, you cannot hold onto 
For the hope, beyond,the blue 

Yellow and gold as the new day dawns 
Like a virgin unveiled who waited so long 
To dance and rejoice and sing her song 
And rest in the arms of a love so strong 
No one comes unless they’re drawn 
By the voice of desire that leads em’ along 
To the redemption of what went wrong 
By the blood that coveres the innocent one 
No more separation 
Between us. 

So lift your voice just one more time 
If there’s any hope may it be a sign 
That everything was made to shine 
Despite what you can see 
So take this bread and drink this wine 
And hide your spirit within the vine 
Where all things will work by a good design 
For those who will believe 

And let go, of all, we cannot hold onto 
For the hope, beyond, the blue 

Said I let go, of all, I could not hold onto 
For the hope, I have, in you

"The Cost of Discipleship" - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Notes from Chapter one "Costly Grace"

“Cheap grace means the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner.”

What does it mean to justify sin? Don’t I do that all the time? Like me thinking – “It is ok for me to do this or that. I am ok to drink that much or say those things or hangout there.” “It is ok for me to treat them that way or speak that way” Because I am justified. What is justified? Your actions? Your thoughts? I am justified in my sin?  God help me.

I want to be a justified person – one that is done with sin, not just looking to put perfume on the dung in my life. The thought that comes to mind is 007 a license to kill. Brett Harper, Christian, a license to sin – or at least a theology that allows me to equip my lawyers in order to defend myself when conviction comes….

“Instead of following Christ, let the Christian enjoy the consolation of his grace!”

Why not, thanks Jesus. You took one for the team?! Seriously, maybe it should rather be stolen grace rather than cheap. But you are saved only by faith in what Jesus did on the cross right? Nothing else saves you, not your performance, just his. So faith in cheap grace saves right? Did the thief on the cross understand the difference?  Is this more a directive on how we as believers should live as blood bought sons and daughters? Is this keeping ourselves from becoming ineffective and unproductive (2 Peter 1:3-10). Or a warning to those who are approaching the cross for the first time, this is not fire insurance, this is something so great that it breaks into this life now and beckons you to come and be reconciled – come live life, come and worship. This is why Christ has taken hold of you that you might receive the grace that cost him so much and participate in the divine nature and call in this reality. But does true belief in the saving work of Christ on the cross for the removal of a persons SIN mean that are saved? Or do they also have to understand that this is a life long relationship and is awesome and hard and crazy, but good?

When Moses lifted the bronze Serpent up on the staff and everyone who looked on it was saved from their bites – what if one guy after looking at it started playing with the snakes, even letting them bite him, tying them in knots, being flippant; could he still look at the serpent after that? Foolish comparison, but that is who Jesus compares himself to – just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert so the son of man must be lifted up that whoever looks upon him shall be saved.

“That was the secret of the gospel of the Reformation – the justification of the sinner.”

 Interesting comment in that most people were coming out of the old Roman Catholic church and I would presume with the rise of the practice of indulgences and quick fix say 3 of this and 5 of that and you’re cool mentality, people probably always were unsure of their standing before God. If I can cut my time down in purgatory then I will spend x dollars – no wonder cheap grace is cheap. But if Jesus came to justify the sinner once and for all on the cross and now there is no condemnation of those who are in Christ Jesus then, whoa. Things have changed. I will sell all I have to follow that, that is costly grace. Grace that demands a response.

“The Christian life comes to mean nothing more than living in the world and as the world, in being no different from the world, in fact, in being prohibited from being different from the world for the sake of grace. The upshot of it all is that my only duty as a Christian is to leave the world for an hour or so on a Sunday morning and go to church to be assured that my sins are all forgiven. I need no longer to try to follow Christ, for cheap grace, the bitterest fore of discipleship, which true discipleship must loathe and detest, has freed me from that. “

I feel the call of Jesus to swim to the deep end, don’t just be satisfied with the shallows,” I have called you out where it is hard, but hard is a word that I will transform, my yoke is easy my burden light.”

This cheap grace has been no less disastrous to our own spiritual lives. Instead of opening up the way to Christ it has closed it. Instead of calling us to follow Christ, it has hardened us in our disobedience.

For many years it seems I have been a subscriber (in some part) to the notion of cheap grace. I have often wondered why I found myself lifeless in my faith or even worse trying to manufacture some sort of life. Which often would take the form of how the world tries to find life – experiences, substances, and living for ME. When I feel the tug of Christ reminding me in scripture I quickly pull out the cheap grace card and slowly shrink back into my hole of disobedience. Now I hear him say clearly:

I have more for you

I want all of you

Trust me

Risk

Let go

I am with you

This is why I came

They are why I came

Lets go 

Edward Payson - Circa 1813

"The pride of the wicked is the principal reason why they will not seek after the knowledge of God. Pride consists in an unduly exalted opinion of oneself. It is, therefore, impatient of a rival, hates a superior, and cannot endure a master. It is evident that nothing can be more painful to a proud heart than the thoughts of such a being as God. Such a being pride can contemplate only with feelings of dread, aversion, and abhorrence. It must look upon Him as its natural enemy, the great enemy, Whom it has to fear. 

Pride plunged Satan from heaven into hell; it banished our first parents from paradise; and it will, in a similar manner, ruin all who indulge in it. It keeps us in ignorance of God; shuts us out of his favor; prevents us from resembling Him. Beware of pride! Beware lest you indulge it imperceptibly, for it is perhaps, of all sins, the most secret, subtle, and insinuating." Edward Payson  - wikipedia Edward Payson

Though the Earth Cried out for blood
Satisfied her hunger was
Her billows calmed on raging seas
for the souls on men she craved

Sun and moon from balcony
Turned their head in disbelief
Their precious Love would taste the sting
disfigured and disdained

On Friday a thief
On Sunday a King
Laid down in grief
But awoke with keys
Of Hell on that day
The first born of the slain
The Man Jesus Christ
Laid death in his grave

So three days in darkness slept
The Morning Sun of righteousness
But rose to shame the throes of death
And over turn his rule

Now daughters and the sons of men
Would pay not their dues again
The debt of blood they owed was rent
When the day rolled a new

On Friday a thief
On Sunday a King
Laid down in grief
But awoke holding keys
To Hell on that day
The first born of the slain
The Man Jesus Christ
Laid death in his grave

On Friday a thief
On Sunday a King
Laid down in grief
But awoke with keys
Of Hell on that day
The first born of the slain
The Man Jesus Christ
Laid death in his grave

He has cheated
Hell and seated
Us above the fall
In desperate places
He paid our wages
One time once and for all

Giving Tree

Book Read By Author

I recently again read Shel Silverstein’s book, “The Giving Tree” to my 3 year old son and after was left with a strange sense of hopeful gloominess. I had read the book several times before but have never been so uneasily affected by its message. The next day, in a great moment of Otium Sanctum (“Holy Leisure”) I think the Spirit connected some dots for me. The hopefulness pushed out the gloominess and actually got me excited about becoming a Tree.

Below is my dialogue with God:

The giving tree - the boy takes and takes, the tree gives and gives, to the point of giving everything. Am I the boy, and you the tree? It is sad because in the end the tree is left as a stump. I find myself angry at the flippancy of the boy in taking from the tree, even though the tree contends that she is happy. She is happy to be useful, but in the end she is used up. You however although in appearance were cut down, came back, glorified, at the right hand of The father, and you received a name that is greater than all other names. You can’t be used up.

You are an infinite forest of giving, not just a tree. There is no limit to your provision - but it seems that you beckon me to be a tree. One that would be a cheerful giver, to the point of stump, but it seems I need not fear, for my strength and provision pulls from your forest, not my branches, but yours, not my leaves, yours. Not my trunk yours. " I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

I am to participate with you, in your mission, of giving. To be completely emptied of myself and find great joy in giving to others, to let Love drive...to the point of stump. Not to glorify the act of martyrdom as the chief ideal, but rather love, and the greatest demonstration of love is as you say - Greater love has no one than this: to lay down ones life for ones friends. So love reigns.

John 12:24-26

24 Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25 Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

We remain a single seed, full of potential and potential energy, not willing or understanding the potential harvests that could come from within. We have great ability, fearful to some, and this ability although innate, is not manufactured in our individual efforts, but because of the system of reproduction God has put into us we have this potential. All we must do is come to the end of ourselves and die.

Maybe the last chapter of The Giving Tree should be that because the tree gave it's apples, and branches, and trunk, it castes it seeds and created a forest. And the boy's children and grandchildren were able to come and play the forest - and the Tree was very happy.

Blaise

“All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves.

And yet after such a great number of years, no one without faith has reached the point to which all continually look. All complain, princes and subjects, noblemen and commoners, old and young, strong and weak, learned and ignorant, healthy and sick, of all countries, all times, all ages, and all conditions.

A trial so long, so continuous, and so uniform, should certainly convince us of our inability to reach the good by our own efforts. But example teaches us little. No resemblance is ever so perfect that there is not some slight difference; and hence we expect that our hope will not be deceived on this occasion as before. And thus, while the present never satisfies us, experience dupes us, and from misfortune to misfortune leads us to death, their eternal crown.

What is it then that this desire and this inability proclaim to us, but that there was once in man a true happiness of which there now remain to him only the mark and empty trace, which he in vain tries to fill from all his surroundings, seeking from things absent the help he does not obtain in things present? But these are all inadequate, because the infinite abyss can only be filled by an infinite and immutable object, that is to say, only by God Himself.”

Blaise Pascal Section VII – Morality and Doctrine 425

The Blood that Speaks

Hebrews 12:23-24 -"You have come...²⁴ to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

"Here, then is the voice of the gospel; it is not the sound of a trumpet, nor the voice of words spoken in terrible majesty (Sinai); but the blood speaks, and assuredly there is no sound more piercing, more potent, more prevailing. God heard the voice of Abel's blood and visited Cain with condign punishment for killing his brother; and the precious blood of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, cries in the ears of God with a voice which is ever heard. How can it be imagined that the Lord God should be deaf to the cry of His Son's sacrifice? Lo, these many ages the blood has cried - 'Forgive them! Forgive them! Accept them! Deliver them from going down into the pit, for I have found a ransom!' " CH Spurgeon "The Blood of Sprinking" February 28, 1886.

Oh! precious is the flow

That makes me white as snow;

No other fount I know,

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

For my pardon, this I see,

Nothing but the blood of Jesus;

For my cleansing this my plea,

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Now by this I’ll overcome—

Nothing but the blood of Jesus,

Now by this I’ll reach my home—

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Nothing but the Blood of Jesus - Lowry - 1876

the star thrower

From "The Promise of Paradox - Parker J. Palmer (http://amzn.com/0787996963)

“Loren Eiseley tells a story that helps me feel the power of recognizing and embracing life’s contradictions. The great naturalist once spent time in a seaside town called Costabel. Plagued by his lifelong insomnia, Eiseley spent the early morning hours walking on the beach. And every day at sunrise, he found townspeople combing the sand for starfish that had washed ashore during the night to kill them for commercial purposes. For Eiseley, it was a sign, however small, of all the ways the world says no to life.

One morning, Eiseley went out unusually early and discovered a solitary figure on the beach. This man, too, was gathering starfish, but each time he found one alive, he would pick it up and throw it as far as he could out beyond the breaking surf, back to the ocean from which it came. Eiseley found this man on his mission of mercy every morning, day after day, no matter the weather.

Eiseley named this man “the star thrower.” In a moving meditation, he writes of how this man and his predawn work contradicted everything Eiseley had been taught about evolution and the survival of the fittest. Here on the beach in Costabel the strong reached down to save, not crush, the weak. And Eiseley wonders, is there a star thrower at work in the universe, a God who contradicts death, whose nature (to quote the words of Thomas Merton) is ‘mercy within mercy within mercy’?”

The words of eternal life

John 6:60-69

⁶⁰ On hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?”

⁶¹ Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you? ⁶² Then what if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! ⁶³ The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life. ⁶⁴ Yet there are some of you who do not believe.” For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray him. ⁶⁵ He went on to say, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled them.”

⁶⁶ From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

⁶⁷ “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.

⁶⁸ Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. ⁶⁹ We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.”

--------------

The Words of Eternal Life

What do they sound like? What would they promise? These "words" of eternal life. How are they different from other words? Words of temporary life. Words of eternal life seem to elicit a sense of transcendent meaning, something outside reality giving the words extra, super-natural, eternal meaning. I have heard someone say that words are like buckets and we as humans put meaning into those buckets. What kind of meaning would Peter have perceived to have associated Jesus' words as eternal? "You have the Words of Eternal Life" Peter says. Jesus helps us to understand something beyond ourselves. He is our translator. Jesus quotes Isaiah when he says "They will be taught by God" (John 6:45). God in a man-suit, our great immanuel, steps in to our reality, opens his mouth and speaks. "The Word became Flesh and made his dwelling among us" (John 1:14). If you found them would you listen? Would you follow their instruction? Would you tell others? Would you cover your ears or look for noise to drown them out? Would you hide out in rationalization? Letting the resistance win.

Or like Peter simple say, "I have no choice - you have the words of eternal life, you are my only hope. I am all in. Whatever you say."

Lewis and Edwards on the Layers of Self-Admiration from desiringGod

http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1962_lewis_and_edwards_on_the_layers_of_selfadmiration/

How Hearts Are Softened - C.H. Spurgeon - 9/18/1887

Zechariah 12:10-11 "And I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and of supplications: and they shall look upon me whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for his only son, and shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for his firstborn.
In that day shall there be a great mourning in Jerusalem, as the mourning of Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddon. "


Slightly altered to today's english

Nothing good can come out of a stony heart; it is barren as a rock. To be unfeeling is to be unfruitful. Prayer without desire, praise without emotion, preaching without earnestness – what are all these? Like the marble images of life, they are cold and dead. Insensibility is a deadly sign. Frequently it is the next stage to destruction.

I. Observe that holy tenderness arises out of divine operation. “I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and supplications.”

- It is not in fallen man to renew his own heart. Can the adamant turn itself to wax, or the granite soften itself to clay? Only He that stretched out the heavens and laid the foundation of the earth can form and reform the spirit of man within him. The power to make the rock of our nature flow with rives of repentance is not in the rock itself.
- The Spirit of God is prompt to give life and feeling. In ancient times He moved upon the face of the waters, and by His power order came out of confusion. The same Spirit at this time broods over our souls, and reduces the chaos of our natural state to light and life and obedience. There lies the hope of our ruined nature. Jehovah who made us can make us over again. Our case is not beyond His power. Is anything too hard for the Lord? Is the Spirit of the Lord straitened? He can change the millstone into a mass of feeling, and dissolve iron and steel into a flood of tears. When He deals with the human mind by His secret and mysterious operations, He fills it with new life, perception, and emotion.
- The Holy Spirit makes us like wax, and we become impressible to His sacred seal. Remember, you that are hard of heart, that your hope lies this way; God Himself, who melts the icebergs of the arctic, must make your soul to yield up its hardness in the presence of His love. Nothing short of the work of God within you can effect this…The Spirit of God must work regeneration in you. He is able of stones to raise up children of Abraham; but until He works you are dead and insensible.
- God’s aim is that grace may reign by delivering us from our natural impenitence, and by causing us to sorrow because we have sinned… Do not think, therefore that when you feel the Holy Ghost melting you, that the Father will refuse you; it is He that sent the Holy Ghost to deal with you. Imagine not that you can feel repentance for sin and bow in sorrow at the Savior’s feet, and that Jesus will reject you; for it is He who sent the Spirit of grace to bring you to repentance, and make you mourn because of the ill which you have done.
- The Spirit is as the wind, invisible save by its effects. The Holy Ghost comes as the dew which in soft silence refreshes the tender herb. North with sound of trumpet or observation of man doth the Spirit perform his gracious deeds. His working is one of the secrets and mysteries which no man can explain to his fellow…Do not, therefore, expect to be informed when the Spirit is upon you.
- The Holy Spirit can make your heart as tender as the apple of the eye, and cause your conscience to be as sensitive as a raw wound, which feels the slightest touch. God grant us grace to deal with Him about these things, and not to be looking to ourselves. As well hope to extract juice from the stones of the sea-beach, as spiritual feeling from the carnal mind. He who can make the dray bones lice, and He alone, can make the hardened mourn over sin.

2 Thessalonians - Thoughts

2 Thessalonians 2:13-17

13 But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. 14 He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. 15 So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter. 16May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

While mowing the law tonight it dawned on me that God knew everything I would every do, not do, say, think, or feel. He HAD full disclosure on me, and yet despite of what he knew was coming, decided to draw me in. The implications of such an act are fantastic - and freeing. It is for freedom that Jesus has set us free. However, the realty of how God looks at me is still a daunting concept. I find it difficult to believe that God looks at me the same way I look at my baby boy. The bible is very clear that he does, that he is as jealously protective of us as we are of our children. That he wishes to give us gifts, and seeks our good, just like our parents. If I am the apple of God's eye I wish I could see what he sees - what would that change? I think my parents think of me that way, did that make any difference on how I treat them? Maybe that is why God affords us the ability to have children, in order to taste what he tastes, feel what he feels. It is impossible to understand how a parent feels about their child until you have one yourself. Additionally it is impossible to understand how a lover feels about their love without having had a similar relationship. I wonder if all human realtionships and interactions are visual aides helping us to better understand our creator and how to relate to him. He is both our lover and our Judge; our sibling and our Parent; our Priest and our Sacrfice; our King.

I am glad he chose me.

2 Thessalonians 3:5
5May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.

G.K. Chesterton Quote

"Man is most comforted by paradoxes."
by G.K. Chesterton

The Moment of Surrender - U2

The Moment of Surrender

I tied myself with wire
To let the horses run free
Playing with the fire
Until the fire played with me


The stone was semi-precious
We were barely conscious
Two souls too cool to be
In the realm of certainty
Even on our wedding day


We set ourselves on fire
Oh God, do not deny her
It's not if I believe in love

But if love believes in me

Oh, believe in me

At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees

I did not notice the passers-by

And they did not notice me

I've been in every black hole

At the altar of the dark star

My body's now a begging bowl

That's begging to get back, begging to get back

To my heart

To the rhythm of my soul

To the rhythm of my unconsciousness

To the rhythm that yearns

To be released from control

I was punching in the numbers at the ATM machine

I could see in the reflectionA face staring back at me

At the moment of surrenderOf vision over visibility

I did not notice the passers-byAnd they did not notice me

I was speeding on the subway

Through the stations of the cross

Every eye looking every other way

Counting down 'til the pentecost

At the moment of surrender

Of vision of over visibility

I did not notice the passers-by

And they did not notice me

The Return of The Prodigal Son – Henri Nouwen

pg. 106 -

“For most of my life I have struggled to find God, to know God, to love God. I have tried hard to follow the guidelines of the spiritual life – pray always, work for others, read the Scriptures – and to avoid the many temptations to dissipate myself. I have failed many times but always tried again, even when I was close to despair.

Now I wonder whether I have sufficiently realized that during all this time God has been trying to find me, to know me, and to love me. The question is not “How am I to find God?” but “How am I to let myself be found by him?” The question is not “How am I to know God?” but “How am I to let myself be known by God? And, finally, the question is not “How am I to love God?” but “How am I to let myself be loved by God?” God is looking into the distance for me, trying to find me, and longing to bring me home. In all three parables which Jesus tells in response to the question of why he eats with sinners, he puts the emphasis on God’s initiative. God is the shepherd who goes looking for his lost sheep. God is the woman who lights a lamp, sweeps out the house, and searches everywhere for her lost coin until she has found it. God is the father who watches and waits for his children, runs out to meet them, embraces them, pleads with them, begs and urges them to come home.

It might sound strange, but God wants to find me as much as, if not more then, I want to find God. Yes, God needs me as much as I need God. God is not the patriarch who stays home, doesn’t move, and expects his children to come to him, apologize for their aberrant behavior, beg for forgiveness, and promise to be better. To the contrary, he leaves the house, ignoring his dignity by running toward them, pays no heed to apologies and promises of change, and brings them to the table richly prepared for them.”

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Acts 17:26

26From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. 27God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 28'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

Matthew 7:22

22Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Matthew 3:11-12 Commentary Thought

"Amos sounded a clear warning, to his generation, to Jesus' generation and to ours, when we prove more quick to judge others than ourselves: "Woe to you who long for the day of the LORD," for it will be a day of reckoning (Amos 5:18). Sometimes skeptics appeal to evil in the world to deny God's existence; instead they should be applauding his mercy in giving them time to repent, because when God decisively abolishes evil, he will have to abolish them (see 2 Pet 3:3-9).
Second, John warns that the wicked will be burned, just as farmers destroy useless products after the harvest. Harvest and the threshing floor (3:8, 10, 12) were natural images to use in agrarian, rural Palestine. Earlier biblical writers had used these images to symbolize judgment and the end time (as in Ps 1:4; Is 17:13; Hos 13:3; Joel 3:13); Jesus (Mt 9:38; 13:39; 21:34) and his contemporaries (4 Ezra 4:30-32; Jub. 36:10) also used the image. (Fire naturally symbolized future judgment, as in Is 66:15-16, 24; 1 Enoch 103:8.) Villagers carried grain to village threshing floors; large estates worked by tenants would have their own (N. Lewis 1983:123). When threshers tossed grain in the air, the wind separated out the lighter, inedible chaff. The most prominent use of this chaff was for fuel (CPJ 1:199). But while chaff burned quickly, John depicts the wicked's fire as unquenchable. Many of his contemporaries believed that hell was only temporary (for example, t. Sanhedrin 13:3, 4), but John specifically affirmed that it involved eternal torment, drawing on the most horrible image for hell available in his day.
Many of us today are as uncomfortable as John's contemporaries with the doctrine of eternal torment; yet genuinely considering and believing it would radically affect the way we live. That John directs his harshest preaching toward religious people (Mt 3:7) should also arouse some introspection on our part (see also Blomberg 1992:142-43). Even for the saved, the knowledge that all private thoughts will be brought to light (10:26) should inspire self-discipline when other humans are not watching. Our culture prefers a comfortable message of God's blessing on whatever we choose to do with our lives; God reminds us that his Word and not our culture remains the final arbiter of our destiny."

"God reminds us that his Word and not our culture remains the final arbiter of our destiny."

Self Awareness vs. Christ-awarness

My Utmost for His Highest - August 20

“Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once, asking Him to re-establish your rest. Never allow anything to remain in your life that is causing the unrest. Think of every detail of your life that is causing the disintegration as something to fight against, not as something you should allow to remain. Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awareness will disappear. Then He will be your all in all. Beware of allowing your self-awareness to continue, because slowly but surely it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is satanic. Don’t allow yourself to say, "Well, they have just misunderstood me, and this is something over which they should be apologizing to me; I’m sure I must have this cleared up with them already." Learn to leave others alone regarding this. Simply ask the Lord to give you Christ-awareness, and He will steady you until your completeness in Him is absolute…..If we try to overcome our self-awareness through any of our own commonsense methods, we will only serve to strengthen our self-awareness tremendously. Jesus says, "Come to Me . . . and I will give you rest," that is, Christ-awareness will take the place of self-awareness. Wherever Jesus comes He establishes rest— the rest of the completion of activity in our lives that is never aware of itself.”

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I believe this to be a plague in the modern American - including the plague in my own heart. Self-Awareness always begins with SELF...isn't there a magazine called "Self"?... We are (I am) self-focused, self-centered, self-important, self-confident, self-sustaining, self-indulgent, self-motivated, self-made, self-corrected, self-loved. It is very interesting to me the Oswald Chambers calls "Self-Pity" satanic - I completely agree. If we are trusting in ourselves, we are not trusting in God. If we are focused on ourselves, we cannot focus on God nor on what calls us to focused on - namley others. That is why the second chapter of Philippians so stings my conscience - "2:5-8 -Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! Christ, the King of Kings, the creator of everything, the Everlasting God - humbles himself - becoming human and subjecting himself to our mistreatment and finally our execution. Christ is the ultimate example of humility. From the manger, to the footwashing, to the thorns, to trash dump where he was killed. He subjected himself to God's will - gave his Self up to God's will. Maybe that is why so many Christians talk about dying to their selves. Paul says to the Ephesians - 4:21 - You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds. It seems a bit disheartening as I think about dying to myself, but I don't think that God is intending us to lose any uniqueness of our individuality - Christ gives us our true self back. Isn't that really the whole story of Christianity. God, so loved you, that he sought to give you a new identity, a new family status, a new name, a new hope. He gives you everything you can't give yourself. As we lose our self-awarness and become Christ-Aware we find our true identity. In Christ we find rest, and more importantly we find purpose. Things make sense. Things are right. I can worship. I can hope. I can love. Because it is not me that has to make it right - it is Christ in me - my true identity.